Do I Need to Bring a Gift to an Engagement Party?

Did your close friend or family member just get engaged? If so, an engagement party is the first event you'll likely be invited to attend. And while these pre-wedding gatherings vary widely in style from couple to couple—whether it's a formal affair or a relaxed backyard party—the etiquette around this first celebratory bash can be a little bit fuzzy, especially when it comes to gift-giving. Specifically, you might be asking, "Are engagement party gifts a requirement?"

The short answer? No, engagement gifts are not required, no matter how fancy the celebration. However, according to wedding planner Oniki Hardtman of Oh Niki Occasions, bringing a gift to an engagement party is a nice gesture and "would certainly be appreciated by the happy couple." She further explains, "Personally, I never show up to a celebration without a gift in hand as it shows gratitude and appreciation for their thought to include you. In turn, even a handwritten card to express your very best wishes for their union is a thoughtful gesture."

To further help you navigate the proper etiquette for this pre-wedding fête, we asked Hardtman to provide the best tips for engagement party gifting. Read on for everything you need to know.

The Amount of Money to Spend on an Engagement Party Gift

Unlike a wedding, where there are more formal guidelines around how much you should spend on a wedding gift, this is totally up to you for an engagement party. "If deciding to bring a gift, it is completely discretionary how much you would like to spend on it," explains Hardtman.

The planner adds, "If funds are tighter than normal, a gift from the heart with something beautiful, such as a bouquet of flowers, can run you as little as $20 yet is often received with genuine awe for their beauty. Or if you have the means, then feel free to splurge if these are two of your favorite people in the world and you couldn’t be happier for them. What I would suggest is that you always, always, always put some sincere thought into the gift that you are giving so that it is reflective of the engaged couple and your genuine love for them!"

Engagement Party Gift Ideas to Consider

Here, we provide a few ideas if you're planning to provide a gift but are unsure of what to bring.

Money

"In our experience, money is not only an acceptable gift but a much appreciated one," shares Hardtman. "Couples often do not understand the various expenses that can be involved with throwing a wedding and perhaps your monetary gift will help them be able to splurge in an area that they would otherwise be hesitant to. If anything, they can save it towards their honeymoon fund if their parents are paying for the wedding expenses."

Toasting Flutes

Hardtman notes that toasting flutes are a great engagement party gift as the couple can use them on the wedding day and for years after they've said "I do." "We very often recommend a classic set from Tiffany’s because everyone loves receiving gifts in their signature blue box, or having a special set of well-designed Champagne flutes monogrammed with their initials or wedding date (if set)," she adds.

Matching Leather Passport Holders

"If you know that a destination wedding is in the couples’ plans, maybe it’s time to help them get organized with matching leather passport holders, packing cubes, luggage tags, or monogrammed jewelry pouches to hold the new bling," recommends Hardtman.

Champagne or Wine

You can never go wrong with bringing a fancy bottle of Champagne or wine to this type of celebration, especially if it's the couple's favorite label or vintage. Hardtman adds that "Champagne to enjoy during the celebration, or a more rare bottle of wine or bubbles to be enjoyed at a later time during their next few months of planning," will always fare well.

A Handwritten Card

Don't have a lot of money to spend? Don't worry, you can leave a congratulatory card for the couple, letting them know how happy you are and that you’re excited to celebrate this milestone with them. A few sentimental words go a long way.

A Couples Massage

"Couples that love experiences over things would surely appreciate a couples massage for times when planning can get a little stressful," notes Hardtman. "Book them a spa day or purchase a gift card at their favorite local spa where they can take the edge off together and stay focused on the fun."

Something Personalized

Some of our favorite engagement party gifts include personalized pieces, such as monogrammed kitchen items (like a cutting board), journals, or a custom print. "A cake serving set which can also be monogrammed and used to cut their wedding cake—always a classic," adds Hardtman.

Of course, gift or no gift, make sure you congratulate your friends in person—and thank the host for having you at their engagement party.