This Is Why Younger Generations Are Waiting to Get Married

The world that millennials and Gen Z live in is vastly different from the one that their parents and grandparents grew up in. One aspect of modern life that has significantly changed is marriage: Younger generations are settling down at a much older age than what was commonplace in the past. Research suggests that getting married in your early 20s was the norm in the mid-1900s. Now, millennials, a cohort of people born between 1981 and 1996, and Gen Z, those with a birthdate from 1997 to 2012, are waiting until their late 20s and early 30s to say “I do.”

There are a multitude of reasons why younger generations are tying the knot later in life than those who came before them. Millennials and Gen Z are seeking higher education more than those in the past, and after graduating, they’re spending their early and mid-20s developing their careers, attaining financial independence, and working on their personal growth—rather than starting their lives after marriage, which was the typical path decades ago. Individuals who are currently in their 20s also have a different mode of thinking than their parents and grandparents: Premarital sex and childbirth is generally more accepted now, and love is the primary reason for marriage, not necessity. 

If you’re wondering why people are getting married late, we asked relationship experts and consulted recent research to explain this generational trend. Ahead, why millennials and Gen Z are waiting to tie the knot.

How the Average Age of Marriage Has Changed Over Time

Today, individuals are saying “I do” much later in their lives than what was considered the standard age years ago. According to the Pew Research Center, in 1980, 33 percent of adults were married by age 21, and 66 percent were married by 25 years old. More than 40 years later, those statistics have dropped to six percent and 22 percent, respectively. Across the board, getting married young was typical. Per U.S. Census data, the average American male tied the knot at age 25 in 1980, while the average American female did so at 22. Now, the average age of marriage for males is 30 years old and 28 years old for females. 

Midlife marriage is also a recent trend, with one in 10 people getting married for the first time from 40 to 59 years old, according to The Wall Street Journal. Additionally, in the present era, fewer people are choosing to get married in general. Two-thirds of those in the 25-to-54-year-old age range in 1990 were married. Now, less than half are.

Why Younger Generations Are Getting Married Later in Life

Changes in lifestyle and attitude are mainly responsible for the trend toward late marriages. Below, we explore each of the factors that have contributed to this generational shift.

They’re Hitting Certain Milestones Before Marriage

Generally, millennials and Gen Z have a list of milestones that they want to accomplish before settling down, such as starting a career and becoming financially independent. Older generations, however, saw marriage as the stepping stone. “Years ago, couples married to construct a life together,” says clinical psychotherapist Dr. Delverlon Hall. “Now, they assemble their life first.” Relationship and dating expert Megan Weks explains that younger generations lead with individualist mindsets, which makes them determined to accomplish their own personal goals before marrying someone else. “People are functioning for the benefit and satisfaction of the self and the ideal of ‘freedom’ rather than thinking of the collective, whether that be society or the family unit,” she says.

They’re Seeking Higher Education

Attending college—especially for women—wasn’t nearly as prevalent in the past as it is today. In 1980, college enrollment in the United States was 12 million, and in 2022, it increased to 18.5 million, according to Statista. Not only are younger generations seeking higher education, but they’re also graduating with formal degrees. The number of Americans with a bachelor’s degree has almost doubled since 1980—from 23 to 40 percent, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Because millennials and Gen Z are attending and graduating from a university more than ever, they aren’t thinking about settling down and raising a family until after they finish school—which tends to be later in their lives.

They’re Focusing on Their Careers

Decades ago, when inequality was still rampant, men were the ones who held a full-time job to provide for their wife and kids—they worked to make a living. Now, individuals across all genders are building careers, so marriage is no longer an economic necessity for women. Plus, younger generations view work as a way to achieve independence, fulfillment, and self-actualization, not solely a way to survive. As a result, for millennials and Gen Z, work is taking precedence over marriage in their early and mid-20s. 

They Want to Become Financially Secure First

On that same note, since older generations got married for financial reasons, they tended to settle down earlier. Younger generations—in particular, women—are waiting until they’re financially stable to commit to a spouse and potentially children. Because having and raising kids is a financial investment, women are waiting to get married and start a family until after they pay off their student loans, according to The Institute for Family Studies. Since college comes with a hefty price tag, having zero school-related debt can take years, meaning marriage is often put on the backburner.

They’re Prioritizing Self-Development

Self-development has become a priority for many millennials and Gen Z in their early 20s, one reason why they’re getting married late. Before spending the rest of their lives with someone, they’re focusing on learning about themselves. “Today, marriage is no longer being used to seek acceptance and comfort,” Hall notes. “Instead, young adults are spending more of their time developing their confidence and self-esteem. They are getting to know who they are first.”

They Hold Different Views on Premarital Sex

Decades ago, having sex and bearing a child before marriage were stigmatized due to societal and religious beliefs, so couples held a wedding at a young age to partake in these activities. Plus, modern birth control wasn’t available until the 1950s and 1960s, which also played a role. Now, premarital sex and childbirth are no longer widely vilified, so marriage isn’t a prerequisite for couples to experience physical intimacy and start a family. “They’re feeling less inclined to keep the societal norms that have been imposed on their parents and grandparents,” Hall points out.

They Normalize Cohabitation Before Marriage

Like their views on premarital sex, millennials and Gen Z also have a more radical outlook on living together before marriage than their parents and grandparents did. Younger generations often move in with one another ahead of tying the knot, whether it’s to test their relationship or to save money on rent. Since couples are sharing a household before exchanging vows, they aren’t rushing toward the altar. Essentially, they’re enjoying the benefits of marriage without getting married.

They Marry for Love

Decades ago, marriage was a societal expectation and a means of survival via economic security. Now, getting married is a personal choice, so more and more people are waiting until they find their soulmate to say “I do.” “There’s a natural shift in family unit paradigms as we move from coupling as a survival mechanism in human history toward coupling for a soul connection,” Weks says. “People are not coupling out of need; they are coupling out of want.”

The Impact of Younger Generations Getting Married Later in Life

Since waiting to tie the knot is a generational trend, it has a large impact—both positive and negative—on the personal and societal level. Below, the aftermath of delayed marriages.

Individuals Are Finding Personal Meaning

Younger generations are waiting to marry, so they’re spending their early and mid-20s achieving their goals independent of another person. “This group feels more confident and more accomplished financially and professionally when considering a long-term partner,” Hall explains. This time period gives them the opportunity to develop emotional maturity and self-awareness, which enhances their lifelong partnership.

Birth Rates Are Declining

According to the Institute for Family Studies, women who get married later in life have fewer children, so birth rates as a whole are declining. One possible explanation is due to the decrease of women’s fertility as they age. Although younger generations aren’t necessarily waiting for marriage to have children, those who follow the traditional timeline have a smaller childbearing window available to them.

Divorce Rates Are Improving

There’s less urgency for millennials and Gen Z to get married, so they’re less likely to get divorced. The Institute for Family Studies reports that those who tie the knot at 30 years old are less likely to end their marriage than those who do so at a younger age (except for religious individuals). According to Hall, the divorce rate for younger generations is lower than that of older generations (35 percent compared to 43 percent).

Since younger generations are waiting to spend the rest of their lives with someone else, they enter marriage as a more mature, developed person—which makes them better equipped to maintain a relationship, according to Weks. Plus, therapy has become more normalized, so there are marital issues, many seek professional guidance before even considering a divorce, Hall notes.

The Economy Is Changing

An increased average age of marriage comes with economic ramifications. For those with a college degree, delayed marriage slightly increases their economic stability. However, for those without a formal education, getting married later compromises their incomes. Just because younger generations are waiting to get married doesn’t mean they’re waiting to have children. As a result, single-parent homes hurt the financial wellbeing of both the adult and the child.